Rosie Bowie, Chief Matchmaker – Someone recently asked what the key things were that I learned about being a matchmaker.

That got me thinking. There are many, but if I had to list them, what would they be?

Here’s my list of 9 of the top lessons I learned from matchmaking:

1. Lacking realism.  Some people are single because they are completely unrealistic about who they might be with. Typically this is the 50, 60 year old who wants someone 20-25 years younger. Just ask yourself on what level do thjey connect.

2.  Some people have lists of unreasonable expectations which can be almost delusional. They must see someone completely different in the mirror to how they are seen by the rest of the world.

3.  The love-and-money mix. It’s hard to get both, although they are also not mutually exclusive.

4.  People too often under-rate themselves. Too many genuinely nice people are just lacking in self   confidence and self esteem, often through living in unhealthy relationships. Answer: get out and get over it. Only you can make the change.

5.  Caring too much about what family and friends think. It’s your life, not theirs.

6.  Too many people carry too much baggage. It’s tough to avoid talking about life experiences and exes, but you have to park them both (while not forgetting them) when you’re embarking on a new relationship.

7.  Conversations can become awkward. Good conversation and ‘chat’ is one of the keys to establishing a good relationship, which are keys that too many people ignore. Get talking points and get prepared. Remember not to be talking about yourself all the time.

8.  Don’t expect fireworks and more sparks than a chemistry lab. It doesn’t always happen that way – in fact many times highly successful relationships develop from those who didn’t even like their partner when first meeting.

9.  Fear of rejection is one of the major factors halting those who seek a long term relationship. Rejection doesn’t mean you’re flawed or a bad person, or that the rest of the world does either.

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