Dating can make people anxious, there’s no doubt. And it can also destroy relationships before they start.

Anxiety can be blamed for many outcomes that are or may be destructive of a relationship, but threatening the very start of one. It can tell you that you are with the wrong person because of some flaw you have – not them.

It strives for perfection when there is usually no perfetion to be found.

It also anticipates the worst in people, despite them having the best intentions.

It questions and doubts and casts all sorts of problems where none might, or should exist.

What is happening here is that your anxiety actually pushes people away because you believe its for their own good. But it is also where you are using it to protect yourself from being hurt.

We often hear people putting themselves down and failing to see what they have to offer – they focus on the negative rather than the positives that can help them succeed in a relationship. To focus on the positives, to push the “anxious you” into the background but without losing touch with who you are and what you feel is the key to truly being authentic and ‘true’.

There’s nothing wrong with a measure of self doubt or of vulnerability. But when it overtakes your life it becomes something less valuable. So for those anxious daters, make sure you recognise your vulnerabilities and address them in a way that will permit you to enjoy a successful relationship – not one fraught and difficult because you have failed to accept yourself.


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